I’m 40 so now what?
I turned 40 on June 19th, I woke up soooo grateful for life, my friends threw me a surprise birthday party dinner and I loved every minute of it. Honestly Friday night when I went to bed 39 years old for the last time no lie I thought I would wake up with new eyes. I thought answers were going to hit me like a sea of waves. I took of this week from work because I anticipated that I would be in the flow of my business, I would finally have time to think about my next step and create content. It’s Wednesday night and I’m here typing this blog post that maybe only eyes will see.
Let me be honest, I thought that by now I would have my crap together, I thought that this week God would download some amazing content for me to create, give me a new strategy so I can make money and quit my job, but NOOOOOOOOOO!!! It’s day three and this is the only productive thing I’ve done. Maybe I have to give 40 another month or so to kick in, maybe the wisdom and the determination takes some time, yeah maybe that’s what it is, I just need to give it time and I’ll have a stable head that will help me think clear about what on God’s green earth I am supposed to do with my life.
If I could give advice to my teens, 20’s and 30’s it would be to choose a major that will make you money, invest your financial aid money, think about ways to make money with an online business. Connect with students outside your major and get to know the techies, the business majors, the engineers etc.. I would also say don’t let people discourage your big dreams, if God gave it to you then you can do it.
Although I am a little down as I write this, it is very therapeutic. I’ve always been a writer I have journals for days and note pads everywhere. Using my psychology degree, I’m currently in a depressed mood because I have expectations that haven’t been met and I’m looking for answers that have yet to make themselves available. I wish I had women in my life that I could talk to about life in general, I think that would be more advice. I miss my mother at times like this because I don’t get motherly advice, I don’t have anyone I can pick up the phone and cry to or just be like “what is happening to me???!!!???”. I legit just remembered I’m menopausal so I’m just a big ball of emotions at this moment.
I don’t know what 40 has in store for me, but I have no choice I’m here for it. I honestly don’t know my purpose in life is, but I’m determined to find out. I know for sure it isn’t anything in social services because I am D-O-N-E can’t I mean burnout is REAL!!
If anyone is reading this I hope I made you laugh, think, laugh again, and possibly encouraged you somewhere in here then I’m glad. 40 is going to be amazing I know it will, things just look a little hazy here on Amelia Lane, the sun will soon shine I’m sure of it. I’m 40 Now What?