A few days ago I had a conversation with myself, I told myself that I would not allow my job or others dictate my happiness nor will I allow it to change my mood, Ummmmm yeah right! Insert today.
If you’ve been following me you know the symptom of menopause my arch nemesis Insomnia comes just about every night. I took Zzzquil last night at 12pm yes I know that was bad I was tired and I thought I would just fall asleep, but of course that didn’t happen for me, so a shot of Zzzquil it is, and you can call ready see where I’m going with this story because as you know with any sleep induced medication you need to sleep it off to function, I set all 5 of my alarms on my phone and went to sleep.
I woke up this morning stiff and tired I could barely move, my friend call me to make sure I was up I told her I was up then I went back to sleep (7:30am) I woke back up at 8:30am I’m supposed to be to work at 9am and it takes 45min to get there. I went to the bathroom to get ready I almost dropped my water pic heads down the drain which catching them I moved so fast that my hand flicked my tooth brush in the toilet (let’s keep in mind I wasn’t wearing my glasses). At this point I’m pissed and tired and can’t see, so I walk back to my room in search of my glasses and a toothbrush, found the glasses and an electric toothbrush with no batteries (oh well). I showered got dressed and head to work and of course everyone wants to drive slow, put on breaks, and turn slower than a snail.
I got to work (9:30am), forced myself out of the car for some reason I am still stiff and to be honest I’m not here for this work thing. I make myself a cup of coffee thinking this will wake me up and help me to feel better (NOT!!). We had supervision with our supervisor this morning mine was at 10am, (I prepared last week for this meeting had all of my client information together so I wouldn’t have to rush for the meeting) I sit down with my supervisor and she opens on of my potential client’s folder and she tells me it’s not complete (The Insert whatever you want here). I’m like what do you mean so she shows me where information needs to be filled in I’m like can you just sign these documents please because the info in on another form it’s not detrimental to the point where if you sign and it’s not filled out you lose your job, I grab my stuff and walk out.
Here I am writing this post I’m soooooo tired. When I tell you menopause sucks, menopause sucks big time! You might be asking “So, Amelia how do you plan to finish out your day?” Well, I don’t know, I have my head phones in listening to a podcast and I’m drifting asleep, I might go get me some coffee, I’m actually hungry I had a banana and that didn’t do it. All I can do is trying to get to a positive happy place. I’m not one to just stay in a funk because I’ve been there before and it’s not a fun place. For me the rest of my day may look like me being quiet and headphone in my ears and just doing my work it gives me time to look within myself and start compartmentalizing (The Therapist In Me) my feelings and thoughts.
Yep my morning sucked, but I’m alive and well. When you have days like this stop and journal your feeling immediately it often helps you to process and it is a form of venting. After I post this blog I know I’m going to journal all of my feelings in this moment, I know I’ll be fine, It’s Monday People! LOL