I know I don’t have to explain because I know you know exactly how I feel, but because this is a blog post of course I have to get into the details.
I turned 39 years old in 2020 which means I’ll be 40 in 3months and although I’m not that 40-year-old woman who is upset about it, nor am I sad about it I’m not, I love celebrating each year of my life. I am so blessed to have made it to 39 and with each year I am grateful. My mother was able to celebrate her 35 year and two months later she was gone, although I live for me I like to think that my mom is with me cheering me on.
If I didn't acknowledge the fact that it seems like my life flashed before my very eyes it would be a lie, I promise you I graduated from High School yesterday. Last year this time leading up to my 39th Birthday my mindset completely shifted, but in a good way. I started really thinking about my finances, marriage, legacy, and my business.
It is factual to say that I am not the only 39-year-old single woman in the world, but what I can say for me is, it can happen, or it won’t it is what it is. I don’t think I’m coming from a false humble way when I say “it can happen or not” nor a stuck-up way. My last relationship was 12 years ago I think and when I say I think is because it was probably over sooner. After this relationship, it was years later when I gained a mature mind being able to ask myself questions:
“What did you learn from your relationship?”
“What were your expectations, and do you think they were realistic?”
“Were you supported & Did you support him?”
“How was your communication?” (Don’t Lie to yourself be HONEST!!!”
“Did you really think this relationship would have worked?”
I blew myself away as the questions left my lips, I did ask myself more, but for the sake of time I’m going keep it short. From 27year old to 29-year-old me I definitely matured as we all SHOULD! I take marriage seriously and my mental wellbeing is a TOP priority all the way up there with Jesus. Marriage is not Instagram couple goals, it is not the wedding, it is not sex, it is building a life with someone intimately and I mean Mentally, Spiritually, Culturally, Physically, and Financially.
I believe part of my mini emotional melt down was more centered around I hope that I’m not to set in my ways, am I even willing to share/open up in all of these spaces and if it is not for me how will I arrange my life to be a Full Time entrepreneur (coughs “I’m speaking that full time boss into existence), and adopt children and be able to give them the support they need.
Just to be clear, I have always been financially frugal as a young adult and I knew that what I do today will help shape my future, my legacy. Growing up I watched my mom handle the finances and he bill. I remember a specific moment when I overheard my parents discussing money and I had a permission slip to go on a trip that cost and I didn’t bring the form to my mom. One day she came to my room and asked if I got a permission for the trip (side note: My mom was on the PTA, so she knew everything), I told my mom that I had it but I knew we didn’t have the money for it. My mom looked at me after looking at the permission slip and said, “Do you want to go?” I said yes she then said “You’re going! I don’t want you to worry about our finances that for me and your dad to handle all you need to do is be a kid and go to school.” I often think of that moment and I cry because my mom was such an amazing person in my life, although she only had 15yrs to raise me she taught me a lot in such a short period of time.
As I got older, I never wanted to “pinch pennies”, when I was little, I would spend the weekends with my grandmother and we would always go to the mall, and this store called Service Merchandise and she would get her jewelry cleaned there and often buy more. I asked one time if she was rich, she said to me “when you grow up and start making money always remember to pay yourself even if it’s just $5 dollars from your paycheck, that is your cushion money and when you see something you want you can have it.”
In this area I started thinking I need to learn about investing, how am I going to support a family with just my salary? I need to beef up my savings I need to start thinking of ways to monetize my business.
So, when I say my mindset shifted, I really started thinking about how I will set things up for my future children. What things did I need to put in place so that I can adopt? Asking myself what am I doing now that is/will make a difference in the lives of others, in the community?
I have had an established LLC, LadyB Empowerment for 4 years now and 2years ago I established Millennial in Menopause as an extension. Let’s just say like many I didn’t understand what it really took to start and maintain a business. Y’all just say a prayer for me whenever you think of me cause when I tell you I think this is one of my main reasons for emotional malfunction.
A few years ago I realized that I wanted to go full-time entrepreneurship because I despise PTO and my interests are just elsewhere. Although I’ve had my emotional malfunction moments I am always reminded of the hustle and impact that I am making, I am also reminded of just how good God is and how He is making a way for me as I continue to work toward it. This week I’ve decided to put together my exit strategy, if you’re not familiar with that, it is a strategy to leave a place you no longer want to be on. I’m excited about this because I’ve never done one before and I know how God operates and I know it will be mind-blowing.
Ladies I’m at the end of this post and I realized that this is more like a diary entry. I must say this was very therapeutic to get my thoughts and feelings out and share them with you because I know I'm not the only one with similar thoughts. I’m 3 months away from my 40th birthday and I feel a shift, I’m on a whole new level of woke and it feels good. If you are like me and you have those moments of meltdown, don’t forget where you’ve come from (not place, but in your mindset), don’t forget the lessons you’ve learned along the way, and don’t forget God is in control, although we want it, there are times when we just have to turn it over to Him and let it be, in the end it will all work out.